Safe and Sound
by maddyrose99
Summary: *cols spoilers* After the fateful night in the subway Alec finds himself leaving his Brooklyn home and finding his own place to live. He finds himself trying to deal with new darker thoughts and turns to a different method of dealing with the pain. When new threats appear Alec makes it his number one priority to keep Magnus safe. *i suck at summaries, may contain sensitive scenes*
1. Chapter 1

**Camille was never killed by Maureen in this. Just pretend that Magnus had just walked away and Alec had gone straight to their apartment to get his stuff and then went to the Institute**.

Alec had never been the kind of guy that would purposely hit a girl but this grinning thing in front of him was a monster. The blonde haired green eyed beauty in front of him sat in a hard wooden chair all tied up and had a grin on her face. A grin that was soon to disappear.

Camille Belcourt. The thing that ruined the relationship with his first and only lover.  
Alec had in his grasp a small bottle of holy water that he had used on the blonde vampire in front of him.

"Tell me Camille, and I will consider not killing you. How many people know how to make a warlocks immortal life mortal?" Asked Alec again for what felt like the thousandth time in under a hour.

The vampire just threw her head back and laughed. This caused Alec's anger to boil and fighting to control it he tipped the bottle of holy water. The blessed water splashed over Camille's legs, the water started to sizzle on the vampires skin but the sound was drowned out by the screams of Camille.

Alec grabbed her chin and forced her back up to look in his blazing eyes. "I'll give you one more chance Camille. Who else knows?"

He tipped more of the holy water onto her leg and she let out a muffled scream. He was about to pour the rest over her head but was stopped when she screamed out, "Ok! I'll tell you!" She took a deep shuddering breath before confessing, "There is a young vampire by the name of Marvel Trine, he is the only one I told how to! I swear it!"

"See? That wasnt so hard was it?" Asked Alec in a quiet voice. "Funny thing is, I don't believe that he was the only one you have ever told in your whole existence."

Alec started to tip the bottle of Holy Water again only to be stopped by Camille's quiet shuddering voice, "A very close friend of mine named Abigail Truefear knows as well. You will not be able to find her though, she has no belongings so you will not be able to put a tracking spell on her, she has not been into a human populated place in over three hundred years and even I don't know where she is. The only time I have ever spoken to her was in dreams, she can give you nightmares so real it could kill you in your sleep. I suggest you don't try to find her."

Alec thought for a moment, she did sound truthful this time but there was no knowing what was in the devilish mind of hers. She could be twisting the truth into half-truths for all he knew. The only way he was ever going to find out if she was telling the truth was to get into the mind of Camille Belcourt.

.:Malec:.

Alec left the old building and walked to his apartment he had rented out since _that night_. He had only been back to the Institute for some of his belongings and money that he had borrowed off his parents and left again for the apartment he was now in. He walked up the stairwell, down the hall to his door and unlocked it. He entered and went to the fridge immediately and filled up his little bottle of Holy water from the steel water jug in the fridge.

He put the bottle in the fridge and went to his room to shower and change out of his dirty clothes. He grabbed out a pair of old faded black jeans and a black sweater with a few holes in the sleeves that he could put his thumbs through. After he threw the clothes on his bed he went into his bathroom and turned the shower on. He waited for the steam to fog up the windows before undressing and stepping into tape scalding hot water.

He found that after _that night_, he found it very hard to feel any kind of emotion or just any feeling at all. That why he had taken to other... objects to help him feel some sort of emotion again. One was having scalding hot showers to feel the burn on his skin, the other was creating lines on his skin with a sharp object. He didn't feel anything but pain anymore, he didn't deserve anything but pain in his life. He was worthless. He was pathetic and he was a waste of space. He was a like a shadow that was just... there.

Alec finished in the shower, got out and wrapped a towel around his waist. Going into the bedroom he approached the bedside table and took out his razor blade. Alec shuddered at the sight of it, he felt disgust and she was ashamed of letting a single breakup cause him to do this to himself. His father was right, he was a terrible shadowhunter, and he didn't deserve the marks of the angel Raziel.

With all of the bad thoughts going through his mind, Alec made three small slashes across his left wrist and watched as his pale skin around the slashes turned red in irritation.

_Useless._

_Unloved._

_Worthless._

_Waste of space._

_Pathetic._

These words rang through his head constantly, night and day, no matter what he was doing they were always there. These words rang through his head as he put the razor back into his drawer. He looked at his arm again in disgust before getting his black jeans on and went back into the bathroom. Alec went to the sink and got out a wash cloth from the cupboard, put it under warm water and gently washed the small amount of blood off his arm.

Going back into the bedroom Alec went to the bed, grabbed his black sweater and tugged it roughly onto his body. He grabbed the towel and quickly scrubbed at his hair to dry it. He dropped the towel into the dirty clothes basket on the way out the door and made his way into the kitchen. Alec got his phone, keys and an apple from the bench and sat down on one of the bench stools. After unlocking his phone he scrolled through his contacts looking for his sisters name, he found it and clicked the call button.

She answered after a few rings, "Hey Alec, are you ok? Has something happened?"

Alec almost smiled at the concern he heard in her voice. He answered back Ina tone that he hoped sounded like he was fine, "I'm fine Isabelle and no, nothing has happened. I was just wondering if you, Jace and Clary wanted to go Demon hunting in Pandemonium tonight?"

"Hang on a sec will ya?" Isabelle said.

Alec huffed in response and waited. He heard the sound of heels clicking on the wooden floors and then a loud banging on what he assumed was a door. Then Isabelle started to yell, "Jace, do you and Clary wanna go to Pandemonium tonight?"

Alec heard a muffled "Yes" through the phone line and then Isabelle's voice came back. "I do not want to know what's going on in there but Jace said yes. What time are we meeting up?"

"I'll meet you out front at around nine." Answered Alec

After they said their goodbyes and hung up Alec finished the rest of his apple and threw out the core. Checking the time he saw that he had around five hours left before he had to leave. Alec knew he couldn't go to the club dressed in his ratty jeans and wrecked sweatshirt so he went back into his bedroom and approached his wardrobe. He looked in the very back where he found the clothes that Magnus had brought him when they went on their mini around the world holiday. Overwhelming sadness washed over Alec as he thought of all the happy smiles and memories that he had there.

Alec pulled out a pair of neatly folded black skinny jeans and a tight dark blue t-shirt. He put them on his bed, left the room and walked towards his study. Alec got onto his laptop -which Clary had told him was very useful- and searched the names that Camille had given him.

.:Malec:.

Alec had around twenty minutes to get changed in his more club fitting clothing, put healing runes and all the other necessary runes. The only reason he needed healing runes was to rid of the cuts on his his wrists and hopefully make the scars less visible. He also needed to go to his study which was also a weaponry and arm himself with blades and daggers.

He stripped from his old jeans, sweater and getting into his newer more club appropriate clothes. He quickly grabbed one of his leather jackets that had weapon holders that were out of sight. He shrugged it on and went into his weaponry/ study and went to the big cabinet that held all of the angel blades in it. After he armed himself with saraph blades, angel daggers, blessed swords and other weapons he made his way to the front door and exited his apartment.

As Alec walked down the streets he looked at the life around him, there was a happy looking family laughing together. The father holding the little girls hand while the mother nursed a little baby. Alec sighed when he realised that he would most likely never be able to have that loving family feel.

As Alec walked further along the path he began to feel the pounding of the bass under his feet. He absolutely hated clubs with every bit of his soul but he needed a distraction from the empty feeling in his heart and Pandemonium had the most Demon occurrences in all of New York. When Alec finally made it to the entrance of the club he could hear the music clearly enough to feel like his bones were jittering in his body.

He walked straight past the bouncer and walked into the mass of sweating bodies. The bass of the song made its way into Alec's body so that it almost made him feel alive. Alec walked through the club looking for a tall lithe figure. A hand grabbed Alec's shoulder and he whipped around to see the person he was looking for.

"I thought you said you were going to meet us out the front." Isabelle yelled over the pounding music.

"Sorry, I completely forgot about that." He yelled back.

Alec nodded to Jace who was standing just behind Isabelle, he gave a half-hearted smile to Clary. Jace yelled something to Clary and they both made their way over to the middle of the dance floor. Alec grabbed Isabelle's wrist and dragged her over to the bar where they sat on the only spare stools left.

"What can I get for ya?" The bar tender asked in a casual tone.

"A coke and some sort of strong alcohol." Alec answered for them.

Isabelle gave him a questioning look and Alec just shrugged. The bartender came back with their drinks and Alec handed Isabelle her coke and Alec grabbed his hopefully strong alcoholic concoction. He downed it in one gulp and asked for another one of the tangy fruity flavoured drinks.

Isabelle looked at him worriedly, "Alec, what's going on? Is everything ok with Magnus?"

He laughed without any humour, "No. He broke up with me a couple of weeks ago. It doesn't matter anymore though, I fucked up and payed the price for it."

He shrugged again and downed the second of his drinks. After around three or four more drinks Alec's head started to feel fuzzy and the room spun around him. He felt light and… happy. In the back of his mind he knew it was just the effects of the alcohol but he ignored the sensible part of his mind. He had told Izzy he wasn't up to Demon hunting anymore and asked to be alone for a while. She had complied and must've rang Simon to come because he saw them dancing before. Now Alec had been alone at the bar for around an hour, the seat beside him was suddenly occupied by a brown haired guy who looked at Alec his a glaze over his eyes.

Alec realised it was lust glazing his eyes. The guy was good looking, Alec thought to himself. He had light brown hair with pale leaf green eyes, full red lips, high cheekbones and wide eyes.

He grinned at Alec in what he assumed the guy thought sexily and asked, "What's ya name handsome?"

Alec grinned back, the alcohol taking over his reactions, "Alec, yours?"

"Jason. You wanna dance?" He asked with a grin.

Alec shrugged and downed what he thought was his seventh drink. Jason grabbed Alec's wrist and dragged him to the edge of the dance floor full of jumping, sweaty bodies. The dj switched to a different just as the two came onto the floor, the song had a thumping bass and Jason grabbed Alec's hips effectively pulling him against Alec and started grinding against him.

At the moment Alec could care less about what he was doing so he copied what Jason was doing and just enjoyed the feeling of being close to another person. Suddenly Jason turned him a round and kissed him full on the mouth. Shock ran through Alec as Jason's lips forced his own to move against his. Alec put his hands on Jason's chest and moved his hands up until they were wrapped around the boys neck.

They started moving backwards and all Alec could thing was thank the angel that they were near the edge of the dance floor, Alec's back was punched against a wall and Jason's hands went from his hips to under his shirt. Jason's lips left his own and he placed small hot kisses all down his jaw and neck. Alec made a sound that seemed to egg Jason on. It was only when Alec felt Jason's teeth on his neck did he realise that what was happening was a stupid mistake, something that he wouldn't do if he was sober.

With that thought Alec moved his hands back down to Jason's chest and shoved him away from Alec. Jason's lust filled gaze turned to one of shock and he opened his mouth to say something. Alec didn't give him the chance and ran off further into the club. He swayed and grabbed the phone out of his pocket to text Isabelle, telling her that he was going home.

_Not that she'd care anyway, she's probably off with the day lighter somewhere._

Alec was about to press's end when he ran into someone. And steading himself on his already wobbly legs and looked up, ready to yell at the person. He stopped, nothing coming out of his mouth.

"Alexander?" The golden cat eyed man said just as Alec managed to get something out of his mouth.

"Magnus?"

Alec turned towards the entrance and ran.

**Just thought I'd let ya know that I hav never been to a club and I don't know any alcoholic drinks that are served at clubs and I also have absolute no idea how to write a drunk dancing person and all that. So, I'm going off what I've read in other fanfictions. I dunno if I wanna continue this or not, I wrote this when I wasn't exactly in the most happiest of moods. Hopefully I get the story up and going with a plot point. Also sorry this is such a long authors note even tho most of you won't read this... Review what you think (I haven't got this beta'd it was just me quickly checking through it. Sorry for any mistakes) **

**~maddyrose**


	2. Chapter 2

**Safe and Sound: Chapter Two.**

**Sorry for the long wait but I'm hopeless.  
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Cassandra Clare apart from the plot**

Magnus looked at himself in the mirror of his bathroom. Dull greenish gold eyes started back at him, pale skin and red blotchy cheeks. He let his head fall between his shoulders so that he couldn't see the hideous reflection in the mirror he turned the tap on and gathered up water in his hands once the sink had filled and splashed his face with the water. He looked up at himself again and still saw the dull greenish gold eyes staring back at him.

Growling, Magnus threw a hand down at the water, effectively splashing water all over himself and the mirror. Looking at his reflection again he noticed water running down the mirror, making it look like it was tears funning down his face. A small sob choked out of Magnus and he ran back to the bedroom and threw himself under the blanket. Loud choking sobs racked through his body now as he thought of the blue eyed man he loved so very much.

Meowing came from the door and Magnus slid the blanket down until it his just his eyes peeking from under the blanket. "Ch-chairmen! I m-made a horrib-ble mistake!"

The cat jumped up onto the bed and settled himself curled up in between Magnus' head and shoulder. More loud sobs escaped from his mouth and tears escaped his eyes. Never before in his very long existence had he been this distraught after a break up. Normally he would be upset for a week tops and then he would go back to normal. But this was different, for two weeks Magnus had done nothing but mope around his apartment, he hardly ate or slept and had only showered three times in the two weeks.

"Why did I listen to Camille, Chairmen? Why did I have to be so stupid? Alec probably hates me now. I listened to my cunningly evil ex-girlfriend and not my boyfriend! I wish I hadn't don—" Another sob cut him off half way through his sentence.

Chairmen meowed and started to purr, causing the vibration to go through Magnus' body. He closed his eyes but all he saw was the blue of Alec's eyes on the backs of his eyelids. Magnus turned over so he faced the window not the bathroom door and grabbed onto the ratty black sweater that was next to him. It still had Alec's scent of sandalwood, steel and a faint scent of his cologne.

Suddenly a knock on the door stopped him from his thoughts. Well, more like someone was trying to break the door down. Magnus got up and wiped the tears away from his eyes, fully aware that his eyes would still be puffy and red. The banging had stopped for a second but then started up again with more force.

"I left a message on my phone telling everyone that I am not taking anyone's requests to turn their mundane friend into a human again." Magnus yelled as he walked to the door, without bothering to check who it was Magnus swung open the door and added in a growl, "Nor will I be taking stupid orders from warlocks who can't do anything for them—"

He stopped in the middle of his sentence when he saw who was standing there. "Tessa! Come in."

He stepped away from the door to let the girl through and closed the door after her. She turned to him and smiled a little sadly at him.

"A little birdie told me that you haven't left your loft in about a week. That not like you at all Magnus, your either at a party or out with the shadowhunter boy. What's happened?"

At the mention of his blue eyed shadowhunter Magnus burst into tears again, "It a-all went w-wrong Tessa! We were s-supposed to b-be happy for at l-least another twenty years but it all went wrong instead!"

Tessa looked at him with sympathy clear in his eyes, she put an arm around Magnus' skinny frame and dragged his sobbing body over to the next room with a couch, bookshelves and a fireplace. She sat him down and wrapped him up in one of his overly fluffy white blanket. Magnus snapped his fingers and a box of tissues appeared in front of him.

"I shall go make us some tea and biscuits and then we will talk." Tessa left the room after that and Magnus heard the cluttering of a draw being pulled out and slammed again, he heard the kettle boiling and all he could think about was when Alec made both of them tea when they watched a movie on Sundays.

Around five minutes later Tessa came back with a tray that had tea cups and biscuits on it. She set the tray on the coffee table and sat down while handing Magnus a cup of hot tea.

"Last time I saw you, you couldn't keep the smile off your face. So, what happened?" She asked gently.

Magnus sipped a bit of his tea, wiped the rest of his tears away and blew his nose. "It started when I kept my past closed off from Alec, he obviously just wanted me to be more open with him but I refused. This lead to fights over the silliest thing you could think of, we fought over everything and it killed me inside to see the normally cerulean blue eyes turn dark with anger. Anger directed at me. Eventually I noticed that Alec often disappeared in the middle of the night. We became more distant with each other and then one night Camille came to me and told me some things.

"At first I thought she was lying but then one night I followed Alec into a abandoned subway that Camille had told me where they met every second night. Camille told me that he had come to her to learn how to take away the warlocks humanity. I confronted him and he tried to explain…" Magnus stopped and grabbed another tissue and wiped away his tears, "I didn't let him explain and after breaking up with him I left him there. I just… left him there broken and alone."

After his long speech on what happened both of them sat there and just drank their team occasionally grabbing a biscuit. Eventually Tessa grabbed onto his hand and looked him in the eye.

"Do you want him back? Do you love him enough to focus on your love and not the mistakes he made? Do you love him enough to give him the chance to explain his reasons?" She put a hand on his shoulder and suddenly smiled widely, "Another little birdie told me that Alec invited everyone to the club Pandemonium tonight."

Tessa stood up and held out a hand to Magnus. After grabbing it she hauled him to his feet and got him to bend down to her height so she wipe the rest of his tears away. "Go get dressed and put some of that glittery stuff in your hair again."

Magnus did what he was told and went into his room, leaving Tessa in the sitting room. He went to his closet and searched through all of his glittery clothes. He chose a pair of second skin purple jeans with black sequins over the thighs, a tight black shirt with purple sequins on the front in a swirly design and a grabbed out one of his tubs of black and purple glitter. Once he put on all his clothes he went into his bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He put on a small layer of concealer, eyeliner, glittery eyeshadow and spiked up his hair into his signature spikes.

Once he done that he grabbed the tub of glitter and grabbed a handful of it and opened his hand above his head so it went into his hand. He snapped his figures and the glitter stuck in his hair. He walked out of his bathroom and sat on his bed for a minute, silently preparing himself to seeing Alec again.

..:..

Magnus walked up to the club doors and put a glamour on himself so he could get past the bouncer without being stopped. Once inside the club he looked around for his shadowhunter, he saw a flash of bright red and golden hair run to the dance floor. Magnus looked over to where they ran from and spotted his blue eyed shadowhunter. Magnus started towards the bar where his shadowhunter was sitting, when he got to the bar Alec was gone and a blonde haired girl replaced his seat. Magnus felt his shoulders sag and he went to find a seat for himself, he found one near the corner of the bar and sat there until the bar tender came.

"Something strong?" Bartender asked.

Magnus nodded his head and seconds later Bartender came back with a fruity looking purple drink. Magnus looked down at the drink after he took a sip and he confirmed in his mind that this was one of his favourites. After maybe half an hour of continuous fruity purple drinks Bartender refused to give him anymore say that he had had to much to drink. Magnus huffed and got off the stool and entered the crowd of moving bodies.

Just as he was about to go outside the club, Magnus ran straight into someone. The person looked up and Magnus got stuck in a cerulean blue trance.

"Alexander?" The name came out of his mouth before he could stop him self.

Alec seemed to come out of a trance himself and said, "Magnus?"

His blue eyed shadowhunter turned around and dashed away towards the entrance of the club. Magnus took after him, pushing past people and shouting out sorries over his shoulder. Once out on the street Magnus looked left and right and spotted Alec running down the right pathway.

"Alexander, wait! Stop!" He shouted. Alec kept running, "Alexander please! Just let me talk to you."

Magnus' breath came out in puffs of steam. Alec slowly came to a stop a few metres ahead of Magnus and slowly turned around. "What do you want Magnus? Want to break my heart another time?"

Magnus looked up to him and saw that there was no spark in Alec's eyes anymore, his bright cerulean blue eye hd been reduce to a dull dark blue. Magnus' heart broke at the sight of his shadowhunter in front of him, Alec had lost a lot of weight since the last time they had been together.

"I made a mistake Alec and I'm... I'm sorry. I should have been more open with you from the start and I definitely should not have listen to Camille." Magnus could feel tears starting to fall from his eyes, he wiped them away and continued, "I should have let you explain."

Magnus looked down to the ground for a while and looked back up to see Alec backing away and shaking his head. "How do I know your not going to leave me again? I mean, you would rather trust and listen to your ex-girlfriend then to your current boyfriend, who by the way you didn't even give a chance to explain."

"I said I was sorry but I know that doesn't make it right. I would understand if you don't want to talk to me anymore but all I am asking for is a second chance." Magnus winced internally at the pleading tone in his voice.

Alec looked deep in thought before he finally answered, "Ok, meet me at Taki's tomorrow at one. Maybe you'll actually let me explain instead of running off on me."

Magnus nodded and sighed in relief, _at least he doesn't hate me too much_. His blue eyed shadowhunter nodded and started to walk away without another word. "Alexander wait," Magnus waited until he had turned around fully and then continued softly, "I love you, I don't care if we are looked down upon by other shadowhunters or other downworlders. I love you no matter what you do."

Magnus expected something in return but got nothing but a small nod. Alec had walked away without saying anything back. _Maybe he really does hate me. _Magnus' shoulders sagged back down and he walked away in the opposite direction.

**There we are, done. Like I said up the top, sorry for the month or so long wait. Something was wrong with the storage in my iPad and I had absolutely no room whatsoever, some sort of storage glitch or something.  
Anyway review and tell me what you thought, only quickly skimmed through so there may be spelling or grammar mistakes.  
Until next update  
~Maddyrose :)**


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